


Not off Limits off Stage

by Sisslen



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Adam Lambert - Freeform, M/M, Tommy Joe Ratliff - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-17
Updated: 2011-04-17
Packaged: 2017-10-18 06:23:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/185939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sisslen/pseuds/Sisslen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam can't help staring at Tommy. Even though he knows that Tommy is off limits off stage. Then he has a talk with Sutan and things change. ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not off Limits off Stage

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first FanFic of Tommy and Adam. As I've mentioned before I never know were my stories are heading before I end them. Being a HUGE fan of Sutan Amrull I wanted to write something were he had a role. I also wanted Neil to play a part in this because I simply adore him and his sense of humor! :) So here goes - hope you enjoy! :)

When the fuck did this happen? When the fuck did I fall in love with him? Yeah, sure he is my type, but that doesn’t mean I have to go and fucking fall in love with the guy! I mean I’m usually a lot smarter than that so how the actually fuck did I..

“Adam?! Hey Lambert?!”

“Oh, sorry I was just..”

“Yeah, I could see that.” Monte replied following Adam’s gaze. Adam tried to look at something else fast so that Monte didn’t realize who Adam had been staring at and still in this exact moment had serious problems taking his eyes of.

“Yeah, not fast enough Rock Star” Monte said smiling when Adam meet his eyes. Adam had known Monte long enough to see that even though he smiled at Adam, his eyes gave away that he was worried.

“I know this is fucked up Monte, trust me I know…” Adam said looking like he wished that somehow saying it out laud would make it less hard to handle.

“Look Adam you know I love you man, and I think that you’re more than capable of handling your own life, but this-“ Monte pointed in the direction of were Adam’s eyes had been a couple of minutes ago. “-is not going to end well.”

This right here was one of the reasons why Adam loved Monte so much and why their friendship had lasted for so many years – no bullshit! Monte was always honest with him, but never judging him. He simply looked out for Adam.

“Trust me I know..” Adam looked at Monte and then shook his head. “..I know” Monte gave Adam’s shoulder a squeeze and then picked up his guitar and jointed the rest of the band on the stage. Adam took a deep breath then turned around facing the stage again. For one second he looked at the blond once more then took in another breath and walked up to join the others for rehearsal. This was going to be a long day.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days later once again Monte caught Adam staring at the bassist lost in his own thoughts. Monte was starting to get really worried about his friend. He had known Adam for a lot of years now and he’d been there when Adam had been in relationships so he knew that Adam wasn’t the type of guy that did such things half way.  
What may have started out as an attraction to this blond guy had turned in to so much more than that. Knowing Adam, Monte knew this was going to be a mess. He had to talk to him after rehearsal.

After everybody else left, Monte confronted Adam. “Adam, I know this is not my business, but I’m afraid that you’re going to get hurt and to be honest I’m also afraid that this is going to mess up the band.”

Adam stared at Monte for a while not answering. Then he looked down and said; “Yeah, I know. I don’t know how this happened okay. He’s straight I know.”

“Well yeah, that and he’s your bassist – and a damn good one I might add. We can’t afford to lose him.” Monte looked at Adam with a careful smile.

“Yeah, that too. “ Adam laughed. It took Monte a little by surprise but it was nice to hear.

“What?” Monte asked smiling.

“Well, I was just looking at the situation from the outside and it’s actually funny - I’m acting like a teenager.” Adam smiled.

“Now that you mentioned it..” Monte said laughing.

“Forget Monte, okay. This is not going to go any further I promise you.” Adam smiled and walked away.  
Monte watched him go. Not completely convinced by Adam’s words.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Yeah, I know some would think so right?! But no being Adam Lambert’s little brother has not changed my life to the better, no..”

Adam peeked out of his dressing room door, watching Neil having, what Adam seemed to read from Neil’s face, jet another really dumb conversation with yet another reporter, who seemed to believe that now when Adam had become famous his entire family worshiped the grown he walked on. He couldn’t help laugh a little, because really the last person to ever worship any grown he walked on was Neil. Adam didn’t doubt the fact that Neil was proud of him for fulfilling his dreams and all that, but Adam was still just his big brother whom he had always been competing with and fighting with. Actually Adam loved that fact – one thing that would never change was his relationship to his brother and the rest of his family and that made him feel save in all this craziness.

“How has your life changed since Adam joined American Idol? Seriously?! Is that the best question that they can come up with?! I mean what about asking me if I have some ugly baby pictures of you or know about any embarrassing moments from your childhood?! Neil closed the door when he walked in to Adam’s dressingroom. Adam laughed and shook his head.

“I’m sure that you will get your change to leak some ugly childhood pictures of me some day” Adam said.

“Well maybe, but in fact I don’t think that any childhood pictures I could ever dig up is going to shock people as much as the pictures of you sucking Brad’s brain out.” Neil said as if it was the most naturally thing to ever say, but actually for Neil it was.

“Dumbass!” Adam responded turning his back at Neil, smiling though.

“Whatever” Neil responded laughing. “But I think that if you were ever to live out your fantasy about a certain blond guy we all know I could make a fortune of those pictures!”

Adam caught his brother’s eyes in the mirror and then turned around fast, staring at Neil. “What did you just say?” Adam asked totally taken by surprise by that.

“You heard me – but then again I don’t want to be close enough to take pictures of you at that point in time! Gross actually!” Neil looked like he just threw up in his own mouth.

“Oh shut up! How do you know?! Monte told you?!” Adam stared at Neil while fear and panic showing in his eyes.

“Come on Adam!” Neil started, his voice getting a bit more serious because of the look on Adam’s face. “Adam, I’m your brother I know you okay! – I know what the expression you have on your face when you look at him means. I’ve seen it before you know.” Neil looked at Adam hoping that his words would calm his brother down. Adam still looked a little panicked, but he relaxed a bit.

“Neil, fuck does everybody know?! – Am I that transparent?!” Adam’s voice got a little high in the end.

“No not everybody – the blond in question has no clue what so ever!”

“But everybody else?”

“They know” Neil stated. Adam sat down hiding his face in his hands. “Sorry bro I actually thought you knew. I didn’t realize that your attraction to him was something you tried to hide. ‘cause actually you’re doing a really bad job then.” Adam raised his head and looked at Neil. Neil was surprised by the look in Adam’s eyes. “Oh, fuck you’re in love with him aren’t you?!” Neil almost shouted.

“SHHH! – For fuck sake Neil do you have to shout it to the world?!” Adam looked at Neil in the same way he had when they were kids and Neil was annoying the shit out of him. “Sorry, but I hadn’t seen that one coming – you know he’s your bassist.” The last part wasn’t a question, but just Neil wondering out lout, how his brother could put himself in this situation. Adam was actually wondering the exact same thing himself.

“I thought that was what you meant when you said everybody else knew. And yeah he’s my bassist and he’s straight” Adam said. Feeling like crap all the sudden.

“He’s what?” Neil asked. Adam looked at Neil like he wasn’t quite sure what Neil didn’t understand in that statement. “He’s straight” Adam repeated.

“Ehm, no his not” Neil stated. Adam looked so funny that Neil had to laugh. “What are you laughing about and what the fuck do you mean?!” Adam looked panicked again.

“What I said; he’s – not - straight! – what gave you that idea?” Neil asked, actually looking surprised.

Adam looked at his brother for a while trying to figure out how the fuck Neil would know if Adam’s bassist wasn’t straight. “The fact that I have only heard him talk about dates with girls and the fact that Monte thinks so too.” Adam answered.

“Well, as far as the Monte thing goes, my only comment is that it’s Monte for fuck sake. Monte doesn’t take notice of details like that before it is actually showed in his face. You will properly say that he has never doubted your sexuality, but bro seriously there is a big difference between you and your bassist when it comes to sexuality. Actually there is a big difference between you and the rest of the world when it comes to that.” That comment made Adam laugh, because yeah Neil properly had a point. “And about the other thing; you obviously haven’t listened carefully enough Adam. I have heard him talk about dates too, but as far as I know there aren’t that many girls named Jason.” Neil looked pleased with himself when he looked at Adam.

“Jason?” Adam feels really lost right now.

“Yeah, he told us one night that he had been dating a person for a couple of months before going on tour, but that Jason really wasn’t someone you had a relationship with so it ended when the tour started.” Neil stated.

Adam knew for sure that he had never been a part of that conversation, because that information would never have slipped his radar and he had never heard anybody talk about it later on. Then again why should anybody talk about that - being gay or bi wasn’t exactly rare on this tour.

“Adam?” Neil looked at him not sure if Adam was still listing. “Yeah” Adam answered. “I think it’s time that you figure out if you can or can’t turn off your feelings for this guy – if not then you have to figure out if you’re ready for the impact it may have on your band.” With that Neil smiled at Adam, and then turned around and walked out of the dressing room closing the door behind him.

Holy fuck what am I going to do now?! Shit! Adam turned around looking at himself in the mirror.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple of days later Adam was at the tour bus on the way to the next destination. This time Adam had ended up at the same bus as Monte, Tommy, Issac, Cam and Sutan. Usually he was at the other bus, but somehow Sutan dragged his ass on to this bus after the show, saying that he had something he wanted to talk to Adam about. Adam never came around to actually talking to Sutan, because when they steeped on the bus, there was already an afterglow party going on and they just joined in. Now it was 4 in the morning and Adam was trying to find some kind of rest on the couch which wasn’t that easy seeing as it is way too hard and way too short for his body to fit. He really wished he was back at his own bus, in his bed and was cursing soundlessly at Sutan for making that impossible. After a little while Adam started drifting of though.

Suddenly someone doped down on his legs. “Adam, are you a sleep?” Sutan whispered like he didn’t want to wake Adam if that was the case. Adam wondered how Sutan would think that sitting down on his legs was not going to wake him up, but okay.

“No, that’s pretty hard with your ass plastered on me” Adam said voice a little of, because of the fact that he had almost fallen asleep.

“Yeah, I can see how that is in fact a problem, my ass is fierce!” Sutan said smirking at Adam. Adam couldn’t help laugh a little. He loved the way Sutan could always make it all about him. Sutan always made him smile.

“Seeing as you are still awake I think we should have our talk now.” Sutan said moving away from Adam’s legs, then waiting for Adam to sit up and make room for him on the couch.

“Okay, so what did you want to talk about?” Adam said sitting up and yawing.

“Neil tells me that you’re in love with Tommy.” Sutan stated. Adam was suddenly quite awake. Way to go Sutan, he really knew how to start a conversation.

“Oh” Adam said. Adam’s brain was working overtime. He wanted to kill his brother slowly and very painful at the moment, but seeing as he was currently on the other bus that had to wait until the next stop. At the same time Adam tried to come up with some clever response that could kill this conversation really fast, because he knew Sutan very well and as long as Sutan had the feeling that something was unresolved he would make it his duty to help Adam solve it. Adam loved him for that, but not at fucking 4 am in the morning.

“Sutan I love you, but I don’t want to have this conversation right now, and especially not here where the subject in question is close enough to hear every single word of the conversation.” Adam looked a Sutan hoping that even though he smiled he seemed like this was not negotiable.

“Okay first of all, I checked he’s asleep, second of all I don’t really care if you want to talk about right now because we are going to talk about it. Spit it out girl!” Sutan moved around on the couch getting comfortable and waiting for Adam to start talking. Adam realized what he’d feared – he was not getting out of this.

“Okay… Yeah, Neil’s right I’m sort of in love with Tommy…” Adam started, but was interrupted by Sutan. “Stop right there; sort of? No Honey, you either are or you’re not, so which is it?” Sutan smiled and waited.

“Are…” Adam stated looking down on his hands then raising his head looking at Sutan.

“Honey, that’s not a bad thing” Sutan stated.

“Actually, yeah it is. He’s my bassist for fuck sake. What if it doesn’t work out? it could mess up the whole band.” Adam said looking at Sutan with pain in his eyes.

“Wow Honey, take a step back. First of all you’ve got to think this trough; do you want to have a relationship with him, or do you just want to have fun flirting? Two; do you have any idea if he feels the same way? And if he does, whether or not he wants the same thing you do?”

They sat there in silence for a while. Adam didn’t really know what to answer, but he knew that Sutan was waiting for him to break the silence. “I love flirting with him and kissing him on stage, but I hate the fact that he’s off limits the moment the show is over.” Adam looked straight at Sutan.

“That tells me that it’s not only flirting for you anymore, and that your brother is right. You are in love with the guy.” Sutan smiled at him. “Then we only have to figure out if he feels the same way.” Sutan said smiling at Adam as if it was the simplest thing in the world to do.

“I don’t have a clue” Adam stated. “I sometimes think that he does, because it’s not only me flirting on the stage. He knows how to turn me on and he sometimes really plays that card to its full advantage. He knows how to drive me insane.” Adam smiles at Sutan.

“I noticed that too. You want to hear what I think?” Sutan asked looking at Adam. Adam nodded. “I think he likes getting the attention, and I think he’s attracted to you. I’ve watched him when you guys flirt on stage, and that’s not just stage play Honey.”

“Well, that doesn’t really help me figure out if he wants this to be going on off stage.” Adam stated.

Sutan looked at him for a moment then said; “I think the real question here is whether or not he wants to be in a relationship with you Adam. I know you, and you’re not the type of guy that does this half way. You can’t just flirt with the guy and fool around – you’re in too deep by now Honey. If you try you’ll just end up getting hurt.” Sutan looked at Adam with love and compassion in his eyes.

“I know...” Adam said.

“The only way you are ever going to figure this thing out is by asking him. I know that’s not what you would like me to say, but you know I’m right.” Adam looked at Sutan without answering. Yeah, he knew Sutan was right, but fuck! It was just not that simple to him.  
Sutan leaned in and gave Adam a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I love you gorgeous! It’s going to be okay, trust me.” Sutan smiled at Adam and then left the couch heading further back in the bus towards his bed.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple of nights later Adam was in his dressing room getting his make-up done.

“So what happened since our talk?” Sutan asked.

“Nothing really” Adam answered. Sutan stopped applying make-up too his face and took a step back looking at Adam with eyebrows raised.  
“Hey, don’t look at me like that!” Adam started defending himself. “It’s not like I can just walk up to him and say; Hi Tommy having fun? Oh by the way I love you.”  
Sutan laughed a little. “No, not like that, because yeah, that only works for me.” They both laughed. “Seriously though, you have to tell him Honey, and soon!” Sutan looked straight in to Adam’s eyes. Adam looked down for moment, then back up. “I know.”

“Good, then let me finish making you look like a glam rock star, because you are on in 15 minutes.” Sutan stated.

 

13 minutes later Adam was standing right beside Tommy waiting to go on stage.

“Ready Glitterbaby?” Adam asked.

“Ready!” Tommy stated with a smile.

“Want to make some fan girls scream?” Adam looked at Tommy with a huge smile on his face.

“Yeah, let’s make them scream loud tonight!” Tommy said smiling back.

“Time to go on, Tommy!” Monte yelled already standing on the edge of the stage with Issac and Cam.

“Coming!” Tommy yelled back trying to drown out the screams of the audience. As he stepped on to the stage and was about to fallow the rest of the band, Tommy turned around looking Adam straight in the eye.

“Oh, and by the way; I’m not off limits off stage!” He smiled and then turned around.

Adam just stood there for a couple of seconds. It couldn’t be. No, Tommy didn’t say what Adam thought he heard. NO! Fuck, he had so not been asleep that night. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

“Adam! It’s time man!” It was Doug calling him; it was time to go on stage.  
While Adam stood on stage waiting to make his entrance, the only thing he could think of was; what the fuck did Tommy mean exactly? Fuck!

 

 

Adam was off the stage before Tommy, planning to catch up with him the moment he stepped off too. But along with Adam, Sasha, Terrance and Issac got off, and they were all jumping around high on adrenalin.

“You were crazy tonight boo!” Terrance said hugging Adam.

“Totally was!” Issac stated.

“Group hug!” Sasha yelled, and as she did Cam, Brook, Taylor and Monte joined in. The only person missing was Tommy. Adam noticed under the arm of Terrance that Tommy was trying to disappear down the hall.  
Oh no! You’re not getting off that easy! Adam thought, moving his way out of the group hug and down the hall towards Tommy. As he reached him they were one door away from Adam’s dressing room so he just grabbed Tommy’s arm and dragged him along with him.

“Hey, what the actually fuck?!” Tommy asked looking a bit surprised.

“My dressing room, right now!” Adam answered shoving Tommy trough the door and locking it behind him.

“Adam, what the fuck are you doing?!” Tommy looked a bit surprised, and also a little nervous. Adam looked at him for a second wondering why the hell Tommy was nervous.

“What did you mean whit that?” Adam asked looking straight into Tommy’s eyes.

“With what?!” Tommy asked his voice a little loud.

“You know what I mean!” Adam answered. “You heard me that night talking to Sutan didn’t you?!” Adam’s voice got a little loud too. Tommy didn’t answer him. At first he looked at Adam and then he looked down. “Answer me Tommy! You overheard that conversation didn’t you?” Adam had gotten a bit more control over his voice now and was speaking at a normal level again.

After a few seconds Tommy looked back up. “Yeah, I overheard that conversation. Actually Sutan woke me up by trying to make sure I was asleep. He didn’t realize though ‘cause it was the sound of the curtains around my bunk closing that woke me up.”

“So you heard that whole conversation and you just thought that it wasn’t worth mentioning to me before tonight? Right before heading on stage I might add!” Adam looked at Tommy hoping that his face would reveal some of his feelings.

“What the fuck was I suppose to say to you?!” Tommy asked a little hurt and a little frustrated.

“Something!” Adam stated.

“Something?!” Tommy sighed. “Great answer, Adam!” Tommy said still sounding frustrated. “It wasn’t as if I could just walk up to you and say; Hi, I overheard the conversation between you and Sutan – so I just wanted to let you know that I’m aware that you’re in love with me!” Tommy stared at Adam now. They stood like that for a while just staring at each other.

“Okay, so you know.” Adam stated. “At least I can stop wondering how the hell I’m going to tell you that.” Adam sighed and sat down on the chair in front of the mirror, still facing Tommy.

“Adam, why were you afraid of telling me that?” Tommy asked sounding a bit nervous.

“Because-“ Adam drew in air. “-if you don’t feel the same way it can really mess things up really bad.” Adam stated.

“How do you mean?” Tommy asked. He looked at Adam like he couldn’t quite figure him out.

“It would mess me up. I’m in love with you Tommy and I don’t think I can handle being rejected by you.”Adam stared straight in to Tommy’s eyes searching for some clue of what was to come. “And then there is the whole band thing. If you were to leave because of what I feel…” Adam trailed off.

“First of all, I wouldn’t leave the band because you told me how you feel about me, not ever! Second of all I meant what I said; I’m not off limits off stage.” Tommy said staring back at Adam.

“What does that even mean Tommy?!” Adam asked suddenly sounding like he was tired of this game.

“It means just that. As Sutan told you it’s not just stage play okay? I like you and I want this to become an offstage thing too.” Tommy looked down.

“Tommy, are you telling me that you want to flirt with me and kiss me off stage too, or that you want the same thing I do?” Adam asked, hoping that Tommy would look back up. After a few seconds he did.

“The ‘same thing’ being what exactly?” Tommy asked.

“A relationship” Adam answered.

“I’m in love with you too, and yeah I want the same thing.” Tommy said still looking at Adam. Adam didn’t know how to react to that. After a few seconds Tommy was the one to break the silence.

“Are you going to kiss me anytime soon?” He asked smiling at Adam. Adam smiled back and got up from his chair. He stepped forward and put a hand on Tommy’s chest shoving him up against the door.

“Fuck” Tommy moaned. “We can do that too – but let’s start with kissing and see how it goes.” Adam said laughing and the meet Tommy’s lips in a kiss.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Someone want to hear some really embarrassing stories about Adam’s childhood?” Neil asked looking around the bus. It was a couple of days later and the whole Glamily, minus Adam and Tommy, were hanging out.

“Neil, you are an ass!” Terrance said laughing.

“Yeah, I know but that’s my job being the little brother of Adam fucking Lambert!” Neil said smirking.

“You were an ass long before that!” Monte said laughing.

“Yeah, that’s properly true, but I have some really good stories you know!”

“You can’t tell me anything about Adam I don’t already know.” Monte stated. In that moment the door to the tour bus got opened and in stumbled Adam and Tommy, kissing and holding hands. As they pulled away from each other they noticed that everyone was staring at them.

“Oh, hey guys!” Adam said, and then turned around dragging Tommy with him down to the other end of the bus.

For a second or two there was a complete silence, then Monte asked; “Aren’t Tommy straight?!” looking really confused. They all started laughing at him.

“No, sweet Monte, Tommy’s not straight.” Brooke replied.

“Give me a break, my brothers not that charming!” Neil joined in. That made them all, laugh again.

“I thought you said you knew everything about Adam?” Sutan asked.

“Well, obviously not everything!” Monte answered grinning. “Why am I always the last one to know such things?” He wondered out loud.

“Well Mote..” Neil began.

 

\--- End ---


End file.
